Body Image, Relationships &Gratitude

Sometimes I think people put too much pressure on themselves to be of a so called perfect body shape in order to attract a partner.   Those people that I have known who buy into having to be super slim to get a man or a woman to fancy  them, tend to end up with people who are superficial and who only want to see that outer beauty and not the real beauty of a person, the beauty within.  ‘Time stops for no man’ they say and this is so true in regards to the shape of your body.  Bodies change; bodies grow and evolve as we grow older.  They never stay static and believe me, you won’t look the same way you did a 25 when you are 50, so why stress so much about body image, just to land a partner?  In fact, in regards to women and their idea of body image, I haven’t met one man yet who doesn’t think curves rock!  They love them.  It’s only the fashion designers who despise curves.  They need to sell clothing and so they keep the clothes small.  Here in Australia, the average size of a woman is size 12.  That equates to size 8 in the USA and a size 10 in the UK.   This is a healthy weight, a weight range to be happy with and in doing so, you will find that everything changes for you.

When I met my partner, I had put on a little weight because I had gone through a major period in my life full of struggle and hardship and I had become burnt out and depressed.  So I wasn’t exercising as much and food became a comfort for me.  I was a size 14 in Aussie clothing and he still fancied me.  He still liked what he saw and he still wanted to get to know me.  In fact, now I am a little chubbier, because that time of being burnt out made me sedentary and then I ended up with some health issues and I couldn’t get back to the gym.  Guess what?  He’s still here.  With my pot belly and flabby arms, he’s still hanging around.

It’s because he is able to see beyond my imperfections and he realises that I am motivated to change when the time is right and really, if I didn’t care and I was happy with the way I am he’d be happy too.  He just isn’t worried so much, because he thinks curves rock.  He’s not super slim, either.  But I don’t care because when I look at him, I see a beautiful person and I like him just the way he is.

True love transcends all the superficial stuff.  True love doesn’t care that you’ve just had a baby and your belly is a bit floppy and your boobs are huge.  True love doesn’t mind that you have chubby thighs or that your nose has a hook in it.  True love only sees the heart and the heart, personality  compatibility and communication are what make a relationship tick.

I spent many years in my adult life alone, without a partner.  Many of these years were by choice I must admit, because I didn’t want to find I’d made a bad choice and regret entangling my life with someone who was wrong for me.  So when I did meet someone, it meant that I had the perspective of knowing that I have been alone and I like not being alone now.  It means that I never take him for granted.

Relationship in a Rut

Relationship in a Rut: Image thanks to http://www.sheknows.com

Too many relationships end up in a rut where each person is going through the motions of the day and they forget to stop and remember why they are with that person and why it is wonderful to have them around.  We get caught up in the rat race too easily and this can take over the joy of the little things.  If you are in a relationship, try and remember to stop and be grateful for the one you are with every day and if you can, let your heart be filled with gratitude that they have chosen to stick around and be with you.  This choice of gratitude will make up some of the glue that keeps you together.  I think it’s also important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes once in a while and to reiterate to them what you have observed.  So that they know that you are thinking of them and that you appreciate their efforts.  This is also important in keeping the relationship glued together.

In doing these things, in loving the body your partner occupies and in loving your own, in accepting the imperfections of each other and in allowing yourself to stop and feel the gratitude for the life you have together, you will not overload your love with demands.  Because love soars when it is not overloaded with demands.  How can a bird fly if it is covered in oil?  Its feathers are overloaded and it cannot take off.  Love cannot fly either if you demand it to be skinny or to earn more money or be more sociable or whatever the issue may be.  If you were to back off from what is annoying and encourage what is wonderful, your love will grow to heights you could never expect or even dream of.

For those of you who are reading this and you are single.  Do not worry, your time will come.  There are billions of people in this world and therefore billions of possibilities for love.  Just remember that you are at your most attractive when you are happy with yourself.  When you have no pressure on yourself to be a certain way.  Just allow yourself to be free.  Of course if your Dr says lose weight, you should do so, but this may be the key to you feeling that freedom.  But if you are chasing perfection, let it go and just love yourself in this moment, for the reasons that brought you here and make the choices to live within that sense of freedom, to find yourself and find the love you deserve, within yourself,  for who you are.  Then, when the time is right, your one true love, may just meet you and a new life together can begin.

Easy to Love You

Easy to Love You: Image thanks to http://www.misscarlyrenee13.deviantart.com

When you are with The One, that togetherness is easy.  There is no regular tears or fighting, there is no regular dramas or hassles.  There is just the ebb and flow of life and all that entails.  It is a wonderful and fulfilling experience to be with another person who is your best friend, your lover and your confident.  If you have that, never take it for granted, don’t’ place pressure on it and never hold on too tight for fear of losing it either.  Just love it with all your heart and soul.  True love is awesome and I wish for each and every one of you the opportunity to experience it.