I had a dream last night, that involved someone who’s actions 15 years ago, have had negative repercussions on me and my family ever since. This dream has been playing on my mind all day, because it involved me working on the process of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an easy thing to say and a not so easy thing to do. In fact, a lot of people I’ve met feel it’s easier not to forgive and to feel that perpetual hurt. I know of many people who hold a grudge and seek revenge. But never have I heard of someone feeling that warm silence of inner peace because of their inability to forgive.
I chose to start the process of forgiving others a long time ago. I’m no saint, I’m sure there are people who need to forgive me too. We all make mistakes in life. But if you are a good person and you can’t sleep at night, because of issues of forgiving others, you need to get on top of it.
Being angry at another person only affects their lives if you lash out. They will energetically feel it if you don’t lash out, yes. But more often than not, they will continue to go about their days not even thinking about you and what has peeved you off. So, holding onto anger is toxic to you first and foremost, then it is toxic to those close to you and then to the people you deal with in daily life and finally to the person you have an issue with. How can you succeed in life, if you are putting out all this anger to the world? With a great deal of persistence and heartache, I expect. There has to be an easier way…and yes, that way is forgiveness….but how do you forgive?
I have some examples for you. One I’ve succeeded with, one I’m working on and one I’d love to see put into action. So, we’ll start with the one that worked for me.
When I was a little girl, I was taken away from all the family I knew and loved and moved to another country. There was grownups making all the decisions and creating all the changes. All my life, until I was 32, I felt hurt by this action. Even when I wasn’t consciously thinking about it, the little girl inside of me was crying. It manifested in chest pain, which was very frightening. When I was 32, I went back to Scotland, the land of my birth and I spoke with one of the people who were involved in that fateful scenario. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know their version of events and I wanted them to take their share of personal responsibility for those actions. Then I spoke with some other key players who were watching from the side lines. I eased my mind about how they saw things, I eased my mind about why that person did what they did, and I eased my mind about the hurt of the little girl inside my heart. I did get a bit heated once or twice, while I was going through this issue. I did let the person know how I felt, but I didn’t ask them to take on my hurt. Instead, I told myself that now I knew it all, I was ready to let it go. And I did. The chest pain stopped. The hurt in my heart stopped and my mind slowed down. I had come to make my peace with this issue and that meant I was able to say to the people involved, I forgive you.
Now, what if you can’t communicate with the people involved in the situation that has hurt you? For whatever reason that may be, you can still have that communication, but in a more spiritual way. This brings me to my work in progress and the dream I had last night. There is a person who had been a major player in my life some years ago, who has been like a thorn in my side. I don’t wish to ever see or speak to them again, but I do need to forgive them, in order to create a happier life for myself and for my family. I had tried many ways to do this, including the act of being baptised in the Holy Spirit and passing on the forgiveness act to Jesus…nice try, but those feelings are mine, not his. So, I still felt like crap!
I chose to stop picturing that person in my mind. To stop talking about that person as much as possible, to stop myself when I thought about that person and to visualize the energetic ties to that person being cut. Now I come to my dream. I communicated to that person on a Spiritual level last night. In my dream, I created three big posters with the story of what that person did and an illustration beside it. I found myself at their house and I showed these posters to them. I insisted that they take on board what I saw the situation to be and I asked them to take personal responsibility for their actions. It was partly successful. I saw the person acknowledge the deeds that had wronged me. But they wanted to destroy my posters, so I know that still they are not ready to take that next step. However, progress was made and I woke feeling like I’d kicked a goal toward my own inner peace. By connecting with them in dream state, I allowed myself to be in control and to be physically safe. I cannot say I have forgiven this person today. I can say that I am one step closer and that is what counts.
You can do this too, you can choose to go into a daydream and visualise yourself communicating with the person who has wronged you. It is not wise to argue or fight with anyone on this level. Be warned, Spiritual energy is very potent, you are only going to make things worse if you do that. Be peaceful about it. Ask your questions and accept the current response. Work on cutting the energetic chords that bind your energies together and consciously stop thinking and talking about the situation. Change the story to one of triumph and of peaceful outcome in your mind. This is imperative in the process of achieving the inner peace of forgiveness.
Before I go on, I wish to express that to forgive someone does not mean you have to let that person back in your life nor have left yourself be open to becoming a victim. The Corrs wrote a song ‘ Forgiven not forgotten‘, to forgive is not to forget, but to remove your emotions from that memory and that person. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. It is in this state of non-emotion that you will find peace. Always consider the lessons you have learnt about the situation and person you have dealt with, so you never have to got through that again. Above all, believe in yourself, so you don’t fall into the same traps or issues.
So, we come to my final scenario. The one I wish to see. It goes beyond you and me, to the greater World of Humans. When we have learnt to forgive and move on from those who have wronged us personally, we must turn to moving on from those who are wronging others on a grand scale, like dictators and terrorists. Many of the people who love to war need to have the publicity that goes along with it. There is a deep sadness in my heart for all the innocent victims of this attitude.
However, if we all choose to turn our backs and not watch the terrorist stories on television, not listen to it on the radio. If we choose to allow the process of the authorities quietly and swiftly dealing with the issue, without learning who and why that drama was created…we leave no platform for those who choose to commit evil acts to further their cause. Evil acts only cheapen their cause. You do not give attention to a tantruming child, lest you risk feeding the tantrum, so don’t give energy and focus to the evil acts either. Yes focus on the people involved who need love and support. Yes, be there for them, but walk away from the focus on those who wish to capture your attention. This way, we can all begin to heal and forgive. We as a Human Nation can evolve. I know this is idealistic, but ideals are worth considering and they are what a lot of people live and die for. World peace is and always will be an act of forgiveness on a grand scale. We’ve got to start somewhere.
So Forgiveness in an act that brings inner peace. It is a decision and it is a process. Who do you need to forgive in order for you to have a happier life? Who are you ready to forgive and who are you needing more time to deal with in your mind and heart, before you will be ready? It’s ok to be at different stages in forgiveness, as long as it’s you goal, you will find it and you will sleep more peacefully from then on.
- The Path To Forgiveness As The Path To Freedom (itakeoffthemask.com)
- What if I choose to forgive? (empowercards.wordpress.com)
- Do You Forgive Yourself? (toddlohenry.com)