Occasional Self Doubt.

So how are you coping with life just now?  How’s your personal journey travelling?  There is so much change and uncertainty around, it is not a wonder that the running theme with my clients this week has been that of self doubt.  I am not immune to this internal menace.  Self doubt can be crippling and if you let it, it can overrule your life and prevent you from moving forward and taking opportunities.

Self-Doubt: image thanks to

I went through a period of about a year and half of self doubt around 4 years ago.  I had been successful in my work, I was growing my reputation as a Funeral Celebrant and I had people flying interstate just to have a Reading with me.  Everything was going smoothly, or so I thought.  There were issues in my life around my nuclear family which were beginning to take their toll and were unable, at the time to be resolved.  Because of this, my mind-set was a little crumpled and more and more as I stepped out into he outside world, I was feeling beaten down by the competitive nature of others in my industry.  I began to feel I wasn’t as good as them, I began to think that my abilities were not as powerful and not as accurate.  I couldn’t take the cattiness of women and the mind games of co-workers.  Normally, I’d just ignore this kind of behaviour and rise above it, or just don’t get involved, but during this time, I let myself get affected by it.

Self doubt had begun to win.  I stopped working as a professional clairvoyant, I took less and less funeral jobs and I began to hide from the world.  I was afraid that I wasn’t good enough and that my abilities were not all I’d thought they were.

This went on for a good 18 months.  Until one day, a woman rang me in a state of confusion and grief.  She asked if I could counsel her and help her to get her head around her life.  I felt badly for this person and I agreed.  However, that day, I also received another phone call.  This one was from a Dr, to tell me the results of some tests.  I was told that one of my children had a special need.  I now had to get my head around both of my children having been diagnosed with a disability.  My emotional state, was a heavy low.  I needed some time out and my Mother came and took me for a coffee.  The woman I’d agreed to help rang me several times.  She wanted to see me earlier, she was a mess.    Eventually, I picked myself up and took myself home.

Counselling session
Image thanks to

I greeted my client and sat down with her, I drew a map of her life and we discussed what was out of balance and what was in need of some more attention.  I gave her a plan and I made her a cup of tea and I let her talk.  In the end I told her why I hadn’t answered my phone and she was humbled.  She hadn’t considered that I would have had my own issues to deal with that day, and that was ok.

From that time on, more people began to ring me and seek out my expertise.  I didn’t advertise and I hadn’t told many people what I did.  They were recommended to me or my card mysteriously jumped out of their bookshelf. I’d get phone calls from people who’d seen me at a big festival 6 months before and they wanted to thank me for the advice I’d given them.  I was being propped up, by my Guides.  My guides were showing me that my abilities were real and that I was good enough.

My Guides and the people who I’d Read for in the past, were slowly showing me, it was all going to be ok and that it was just fine for me to believe in myself.  They were showing me that they needed me to believe in myself again.  They were showing me that if I did believe in myself I could be successful at what I do.  So, after a while, I did.  I chose to let go of the faces in my mind whose eyes were piercing at me, telling me I wasn’t as good as them.  I realised that more than likely I was a threat to them and that is why they treated me so.  I let go of the words “I’m not good enough’ and I replaced them with the words ‘I am good enough’ and ‘I can do it’.

I started to allow myself to feel good about whom I am and to embrace my life once and for all.  I think this was the key to the big change.  I really just said ‘stuff it, stuff all the attitudes that I’ve encountered.  They don’t represent me.  They are not who I am.  I am me and I deserve my place in life.’

So I over came that period of self doubt and I began to grow in my strength.

I still sometimes hear words of self doubt in my mind.  But when that happens, I choose to remind myself of all the achievements I’ve made.  I think of all the good things I have going and all the blessings I have.

There is always going to be someone better than you and someone lesser than you.  But you are also that someone who is better than another and lesser than another.  That is why we are here to teach each other.  Life would be boring if we were all growing at the same speed.

Lady in the garden.
Lady in the Garden: image thanks to

Self doubt is a dark pace to dwell.  If you are feeling low and your mind is filled with the lies that self-doubt speaks, turn it around by stepping out into the garden and looking at the things you know are real.  The grass under foot, the sky above.  The bird in a tree.  Then remind yourself of the things you know are real and good about you.  Your achievements, your good heart and your blessings.  Each time self doubt creeps back, choose to prove it wrong by learning more and being more and living more.  Don’t let it win.  You will find the cold dark cave of self doubt is no place for a beautiful kind soul like yourself.


Head Space and Environment

Image thanks to
Image thanks to

I am in the middle of a big Spring Clean at the moment and it prompted me to ask the question of you…how is your environment?  We worry about the environmental impacts of roads and mining and of industry on the Worlds flora and fauna, but we must also remember to think about our own home environments, too.  A wise man once said to me that your environment is a direct reflection of your head space.  So if your head space is all cluttered, chances are that your environment is too.

Like many Mums, I work from home.  It is difficult when your house is not quite big enough and there isn’t enough storage.  My office has soon become the dumping ground for paper work and computer cables, old shoes and things I just cannot describe.  So today, I got three big boxes out of my garage and I piled all this… stuff… into them and put it all out of my office.  Now I can think again.

I just cannot conduct business in a work space that is messy.  It feels like I have spiders webs in my hair, or I’m wearing a dirty old coat…you know the feeling?

Your environment is so important to your state of mental health too.  As we get to know each other, you will find that I will be talking more and more about mental health, because I think it is such an important part of a Human’s over all wellbeing and a topic that has been really abused and misconstrued for too long by so many.

Image thanks to
Image thanks to

If you are feeling low and have been suffering from say, anxiety, or depression, or another mental health issue…try the simple act of having a big clean out.  Get a garbage bag and throw out all the things you think are just rubbish.  Get a box and place in it, all the things you don’t need and you are happy to donate, and store away all the things that you can use, but you don’t need to have laying about.  This may take a long time.  I took a whole year, once.  I went through all my things and I made a massive pile of rubbish outside in my car port.  Then, one weekend, I hired a Skip/bin and my kids and I piled it all in there.  The man came along and took it all to the dump and I felt like I had whittled my life down to the bare essentials.  It was liberating!

It’s amazing, though, just how much stuff you can accumulate over a few short years.  Because, here I am almost three years later, with a big clean up necessary and this time I’m in a different house, so I don’t have a car port I can store it in, till I’m ready.  I do have a station wagon though, so I’m doing my dump trips and I’m feeling more and more awake and inspired, with each trip.

Image thanks to
Image thanks to

When two people move in together, inevitably, you will find there is way more gear in the house than there ever was before.  That is what has happened for me.  I think it’s important to recognise that some things that you may think are junk, are important to the other person.  So, there needs to be negotiation and there needs to be re-organisation of storage areas.

My mission statement is to Honour Life and to Encourage Success.  That starts with my home environment first, then my work environment and then my car environment and then I can reach that statement out into the rest of the world.

What is your mission statement?  Does it align up with your home and work environment?  Now just may be the time to get stuck in and do something about it, before your family descends upon you at Christmas time and you are left red faced with a big mess that you just cannot hide.




I had a dream last night, that involved someone who’s actions 15 years ago, have had negative repercussions on me and my family ever since.  This dream has been playing on my mind all day, because it involved me working on the process of forgiveness.

Emotion released into forgiveness
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Forgiveness is an easy thing to say and a not so easy thing to do.  In fact, a lot of people I’ve met feel it’s easier not to forgive and to feel that perpetual hurt.  I know of many people who hold a grudge and seek revenge.  But never have I heard of someone feeling that warm silence of inner peace because of their inability to forgive.

I chose to start the process of forgiving others a long time ago.  I’m no saint, I’m sure there are people who need to forgive me too.  We all make mistakes in life.  But if you are a good person and you can’t sleep at night, because of issues of forgiving others, you need to get on top of it.

Being angry at another person only affects their lives if you lash out.  They will energetically feel it if you don’t lash out, yes.  But more often than not, they will continue to go about their days not even thinking about you and what has peeved you off.  So, holding onto anger is toxic to you first and foremost, then it is toxic to those close to you and then to the people you deal with in daily life and finally to the person you have an issue with.  How can you succeed in life, if you are putting out all this anger to the world?  With a great deal of persistence and heartache, I expect.   There has to be an easier way…and yes, that way is forgiveness….but how do you forgive?

I have some examples for you.  One I’ve succeeded with, one I’m working on and one I’d love to see put into action.  So, we’ll start with the one that worked for me.

When I was a little girl, I was taken away from all the family I knew and loved and moved to another country.  There was grownups making all the decisions and creating all the changes.  All my life, until I was 32, I felt hurt by this action.  Even when I wasn’t consciously thinking about it, the little girl inside of me was crying.  It manifested in chest pain, which was very frightening.  When I was 32, I went back to Scotland, the land of my birth and I spoke with one of the people who were involved in that fateful scenario.  I wanted to know why.  I wanted to know their version of events and I wanted them to take their share of personal responsibility for those actions.  Then I spoke with some other key players who were watching from the side lines.  I eased my mind about how they saw things, I eased my mind about why that person did what they did, and I eased my mind about the hurt of the little girl inside my heart.  I did get a bit heated once or twice, while I was going through this issue.  I did let the person know how I felt, but I didn’t ask them to take on my hurt.  Instead, I told myself that now I knew it all, I was ready to let it go.  And I did.  The chest pain stopped.  The hurt in my heart stopped and my mind slowed down.  I had come to make my peace with this issue and that meant I was able to say to the people involved, I forgive you.

Now, what if you can’t communicate with the people involved in the situation that has hurt you?  For whatever reason that may be, you can still have that communication, but in a more spiritual way.  This brings me to my work in progress and the dream I had last night.  There is a person who had been a major player in my life some years ago, who has been like a thorn in my side.  I don’t wish to ever see or speak to them again, but I do need to forgive them, in order to create a happier life for myself and for my family.  I had tried many ways to do this, including the act of being baptised in the Holy Spirit and passing on the forgiveness act to Jesus…nice try, but those feelings are mine, not his.  So, I still felt like crap!

I chose to stop picturing that person in my mind.  To stop talking about that person as much as possible, to stop myself when I thought about that person and to visualize the energetic ties to that person being cut.  Now I come to my dream.  I communicated to that person on a Spiritual level last night.  In my dream, I created three big posters with the story of what that person did and an illustration beside it.  I found myself at their house and I showed these posters to them.  I insisted that they take on board what I saw the situation to be and I asked them to take personal responsibility for their actions.  It was partly successful.  I saw the person acknowledge the deeds that had wronged me.  But they wanted to destroy my posters, so I know that still they are not ready to take that next step.  However, progress was made and I woke feeling like I’d kicked a goal toward my own inner peace.  By connecting with them in dream state, I allowed myself to be in control and to be physically safe.  I cannot say I have forgiven this person today.  I can say that I am one step closer and that is what counts.

You can do this too, you can choose to go into a daydream and visualise yourself communicating with the person who has wronged you.  It is not wise to argue or fight with anyone on this level. Be warned, Spiritual energy is very potent, you are only going to make things worse if you do that.  Be peaceful about it.  Ask your questions and accept the current response.  Work on cutting the energetic chords that bind your energies together and consciously stop thinking and talking about the situation.  Change the story to one of triumph and of peaceful outcome in your mind.  This is imperative in the process of achieving the inner peace of forgiveness.

Before I go on, I wish to express that to forgive someone does not mean you have to let that person back in your life nor have left yourself be open to becoming a victim.  The Corrs wrote a song ‘ Forgiven not forgotten‘, to forgive is not to forget, but to remove your emotions from that memory and that person.  The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.  It is in this state of non-emotion that you will find peace.  Always consider the lessons you have learnt about the situation and person you have dealt with, so you never have to got through that again.  Above all, believe in yourself, so you don’t fall into the same traps or issues.

So, we come to my final scenario.  The one I wish to see.  It goes beyond you and me, to the greater World of Humans.  When we have learnt to forgive and move on from those who have wronged us personally, we must turn to moving on from those who are wronging others on a grand scale, like dictators and terrorists.  Many of the people who love to war need to have the publicity that goes along with it.  There is a deep sadness in my heart for all the innocent victims of this attitude.

Here no Evil, Speak no Evil, See no Evil
Image thanks to

However, if we all choose to turn our backs and not watch the terrorist stories on television, not listen to it on the radio.  If we choose to allow the process of the authorities quietly and swiftly dealing with the issue, without learning who and why that drama was created…we leave no platform for those who choose to commit evil acts to further their cause.  Evil acts only cheapen their cause.  You do not give attention to a tantruming child, lest you risk feeding the tantrum, so don’t give energy and focus to the evil acts either.  Yes focus on the people involved who need love and support.  Yes, be there for them, but walk away from the focus on those who wish to capture your attention.  This way, we can all begin to heal and forgive.  We as a Human Nation can evolve.  I know this is idealistic, but ideals are worth considering and they are what a lot of people live and die for.   World peace is and always will be an act of forgiveness on a grand scale.  We’ve got to start somewhere.

So Forgiveness in an act that brings inner peace.  It is a decision and it is a process.  Who do you need to forgive in order for you to have a happier life?  Who are you ready to forgive and who are you needing more time to deal with in your mind and heart, before you will be ready?  It’s ok to be at different stages in forgiveness, as long as it’s you goal, you will find it and you will sleep more peacefully from then on.


My Reiki Experience

If you didn’t know already, I’m all over the internet.  One of my social networking pages is called Spiritual  There I met a lady who is a Reiki master.  She is in Canada and she sent me a message and now we are Facebook buddies too.   Her being a Reiki master prompted me to say that I had received mixed experiences from Reiki  sessions over the years and that I practise simple spiritual healing…I went on the clarify, that I don’t think simple spiritual healing is any better or worse than Reiki.  I guess I wanted to open up a conversation about my experiences with spiritual healing in general.

Spiritual HealingMy first experience with Reiki was when I was 18, I was still very naive about allot of things in life and Reiki was no exception.  I went along to an older lady and she began to work her magic.  Little did she know, but I had been under psychic attack all my life from earth bound spirits, and as I was not brought up in a house where parents were educated about this, I was unaware of how to deal with it all.  I had worked out some of my own methods of protecting myself, mainly cowering under my bed sheets and hoping they would go away.
So, when she laid her hands on me, she found herself removing the attachments of many spirits from my aura.  She had created a massive energy shift in my body and she had found herself frightened by the experience.  It was unnerving for her.  One spirit in particular, chose to leave me via my solar plexus and through hers and out in the form of etheric fire.  In the end, without my consultation, she used her Reiki to shut down my Spiritual eyes.  She thought that if i couldn’t see them, then I couldn’t attract them.  I left being spiritually blind, having all my life at least being able to see who or what was trying to attack me.  I now could only feel and hear them.  Now bear in mind, I spent my teenage years in the Queensland outback mining town of Mt Isa.  There were many a deceased Miner who had not crossed over, plus many folk who had died in road smashes ect…It was a town full of earth bound spirits, looking for someone to help them find the light, the way home and I was a blearing beacon…unable to control my gift, now blind to the spirits I came in contact with and desperately trying to find another way to see them.

I did re-learn to see them, but I have never seen spirits in the same way.  I used to see, with open physical eyes, ghosts like a transparent person, now, I see them( with open physical eyes)  in their higher, energetic form.  I taught myself, out of necessity, to see them this way.  In the beginning, I would only see orbs of light.  I didn’t know if they were good or bad.  Just orbs of light.  Then I began to see the more subtle vibrations of these orbs of light and after a couple of scary experiences, I began to discern that those orbs that vibrated steadily were good and those that swirled were not.  Once I had passed this test, I began to see the spirits in their energetic bodily form.

Ghost JoggingOne time, I was walking home late at night and I saw a man, jogging, he was in complete energetic form.  I investigated later about that road and found a man had died jogging along there a few years earlier.

The evolution of my spiritual sight grew as I became more adept at reading what I was looking at.  When I was a student, I lived in an old run down house with my eldest brother and a bunch of other students.  There was definitely a spirit in the house who was attacking us and the visiting girlfriends of my house mates would often report having hair raising experiences.  I was also getting frightened.  I would have my solar plexus zapped, and every time it was zapped, it would feel like an electric shock and my body would be lifted just a little off the bed.  The spirit who was responsible would wait until I reached my most vulnerable moment, the twighlight between being awake and asleep.

I told a woman at college about it and she suggested that I visualise my solar plexus to be covered by a shield and to be armed with silver swords that I could catapult out into the spirit with my mind’s eye.   So, armed with this knowledge, I went home that afternoon and made out I was going to have a nap.  I lay there, waiting and I could feel the presence come over my aura.  I let my eyes slit open and I could see a red energy cloud above me.  I willed myself to relax deeper and just as I felt my relaxation slump, I opened my eyes and pumped silver swords into the spirit above me.  Just in time too, because what I saw was an energetic red coloured arm reaching down to touch my solar plexus.  When I ambushed it, I saw a man’s face protrude through the red energy cloud and express shock.  I had won the battle, but it would take me years to win the war.

So, going back to Reiki.  I haven’t learnt this form of spiritual healing for only two reasons.  Time and money.  I have been too busy with two boys with special needs to have the time to take off to learn it and because I have had two boys with special needs, my money has had to go into their specialist appointments and their requirements…not into things I’d like to do…I’m sure many parents can relate to that one.

I learnt Spiritual Healing over a 5 week period at my Home Spiritual Church in Brisbane.  It was free and I was amazed at how I was able to channel the energy.

For those of you who are Spiritual healers and for those of you who want to be, I would like to say this…after my experience, please consult with your client, before you decide to change their gifts.  Please don’t be frightened of them, if they have some attachments, they may not know how to deal with it and please consider what is going on in your life before you do a healing.  Take the time to separate your personal life from your professional, so your healing is not tainted by the issues you are encountering.  It is hard to keep this professional distance when working on an energetic level, but for your client’s sake, it is imperative.

For those of you who want to get a Spiritual healing treatment, whether it be Reiki or another method, remember to listen to your instincts when choosing a practitioner and keep solid in your mind during the treatment, that you will only accept the healing that is for your higher good.  That way, if the practitioner you are working with is having an off day, their work will be just as good for you as any other day.  It cuts both ways when you are working on an energetic level.

Spiritual Healing is both powerful and mysterious.  It is a wonderful thing that we Humans can tap into the Great Spirit of Life, the energetic Life Force at will.

Remember that after a healing you must eat and drink to get grounded and fill your mind with positive thoughts, to keep the beautiful healing energies active. Registered & Protected




In our daily lives we can find ourselves distracted by the mundane and routine issues we come across. It can take our minds away from centre and make us feel listless and grumpy. It is in those times that we need to find the self awareness to remember to keep focused on the prise. Whatever that goal you have in mind is. It must be a light in your mind while you get up early, still tired and feed the kids, do a load of watching and get ready for work, while you are driving and then working and when you come home to eat and relax only to do it all again tomorrow.
The feeling of striving for something gives life some purpose and some direction, but when we look closely, what is it that is underpinning the heart’s intent? It is essentially that which underpins all the good in this world. I am speaking of that which is Honour. For honour to yourself is why you strive for goals and make achievements and it is honour to your loved ones that compels you to help them and care for them. It is honour to your fellow Humans that guides you to trust in others and to enjoy their company and to respect them. For in order to give reverence to Life, one must first give honour.
I groom myself, therefore I give myself honour. I present myself to others well groomed and so I give them the honour of my seeing them to be worthy of me taking such an effort to be in their company. I give myself honour, by listening to my inner feelings and allowing myself to say no or yes, as per what feels right to me. In doing so, I set boundaries for others to respect about me, so as they can feel comfortable knowing where they stand and how it is best to interact with me.
I give honour to life by taking the time to love the life I have been given and to teach my children to love their lives also. I honour my planet by marvelling at her creatures and learning about them, so I may take my part in being a caretaker of this Earth, just as we all are as Humans.
I honour my parents, by respecting their opinions and listening to them talk about their lives, for they have passed on many skills to me, that I have in turn used to raise my children. Our Parents are the champions of our lives, when our lives are at their most vulnerable, for that, they must always be honoured.
And I honour myself by believing in myself and my opinions and by allowing my mind to expand and learn from the beliefs and opinions of others. For it is only in the sharing of information and experiences that we can grow closer to the Source of Life that so many of us worship, that which some call God, and I call The Great Spirit.
Honour is the ethic which underpins love and respect, truth and reason. Without honour, much of the achievements of others would go unnoticed and left in despair. Honour gives us light and light empowers us to grow. If you are a spiritual seeker of the enlightenment of God, then remember that in your daily life, by having a lifestyle of Spirituality and by serving others you too are giving Honour. For there is honour in service to others and in consciously choosing this lifestyle you are living in honour. Registered & Protected